A Funny Thing Happened today on My Way to the Dojo

I got there and found out that it was a sweatshop. literaly. They sold sweat. by the gallon. So I decided that I'd just continue my training by the best teacher I ever had: myself. This idea was promptly shot down when I remembered the polevaulting incident. So I went back home to watch a movie. I watched the movie Alien and decided to go and find one to kill it and get like + a billion experience from it. So I went out to find one. 10 hours later I'm here writing my blog because after 7 and a half hours of not finding an alien, I was hungry so I went into a diner to eat. As I was eating my mandatory pb&j, the man next to me started grabbing his stomach and groaning. Excited I told him I was trained for this sort of thing, had him lay down and then proceeded to beat him in the stomach to kill whatever extraterrestrial was trying to jump out of his stomach. When the cops finally released me I decided to come home and write about it. It's been a long day.